Self-Doubting, Dissenting and Discovering
Sometimes it takes a story…
I received an email from a man saying he was thinking about enrolling in Discovering Your Youniverse because he was at a breaking point, willing to try anything that might help him make better decisions. Specifically, he was looking for help in dealing with a ‘high maintenance’ family and a high-powered job. He said he was exhausted and depressed because of the stress of constant demands for money, answers, or information, feeling none of the people cared about him or were interested in what their needs and wants were taking out of him.
The promise of a simple way to make a best decision seemed unbelievable, but he was willing to invest money and time in the possibility, provided I was willing to deal with his skepticism. Surprised to hear I welcomed skeptics, we made the following agreement:
He would read every word and watch every video on the public site;
We’d then have a 30-minute coaching session, which he’d pay for; next,
He would invest whatever time it took him to intentionally complete the first 3 lessons and take part in at least one Zoom Dialogue call;
When he finished, we’d talk again, this time for 5-minutes, at which time all he had to say was ‘I’m unhappy with the class”, and his tuition would be refunded, his abbreviated course over.
After completing the first task and persuading me he’d done so, we booked a 15-minute coaching session where, based on his needs, I gave him the following challenge:
The first was to buy a one minute ‘hour glass’ and keep it on his person at all times; second, was the moment someone said they needed him to do something, anything, he was to pull it out, show them, and say, “You have my undivided attention for one minute. Tell me what you need or want.”
If they balked or didn’t think they could do it in 60 seconds, he’d tell them they were welcome to return when they could.
If they agreed to the 60-second rule, he’d flip the timer and let them speak without interruption.
When the sand was on the bottom, he’d stopped them no matter where they were in their spiel.
He had two options: he could tell them to try again, or to come back when they could.
When they were finished, he would say the following, which he also agreed to memorise: “Thank you for sharing. Come back in an hour and I’ll give you my answer.”
This was to be his response to everyone’s supposedly urgent demand, situations that were not threatening life, limb, or corporate resources.
On Day one of what was to be the start of his second week, he emailed requesting the five-minute call. The relaxed face that greeted me was no surprise, and it was wonderful to hear him share that his life was already changing for the better. Asking him how he was experiencing ‘better’, he started talking, and I had to remind him this was a five-minute freebie!
Let me kaleidoscope his reasons:
He understood his depression and stress were both inside jobs.
He reported that not one person was unhappy when with the limits and condition of waiting.
Everyone was thrilled to have his full attention for one minute!
Said just this exercise cut his stress in half, ‘faster than overnight’.
All this was due to finally realising his family and job weren’t the source of his stress, he was.
Hearing this was life affirming for both of us!
